The Seeker of Peace


Giving and Receiving
December 25, 2008, 7:02 am
Filed under: Non-duality, Suffering | Tags: , , , , , ,

For the past few days, I’ve been feeling tense and troubled. There hasn’t been any external reason for this. I don’t have any compelling stories of woe to tell. Being happy and peaceful is simply a choice. For some reason, my ego has been choosing to go the other way. Perhaps I’m punishing myself for winding down my business.

During this period, I’ve found releasing using the Sedona Method to be very difficult. It’s been similarly hard to do the workbook exercises from A Course in Miracles. The exercises I’m on now ask me to spend the first five minutes of every hour on them. I’ve had so much mental noise that it’s been hard to concentrate on them for that long.

Fortunately, I seem to be returning to normal. The ACIM lesson I’m doing today, Lesson 108, has been helping. It says, “To give and to receive are one in truth.” In my current mood, it’s much easier to allow myself to give peace and joy to others. Offering them to others causes me to feel them myself.

I’ve often heard the aphorisms that “You can’t love others unless you love yourself,” and “You can’t give away what you don’t have.” However, my recent experience would seem to indicate the opposite: I can’t love myself without loving others, and I can’t have what I don’t give away.

In a way, this is a reassuring thing to learn. When my ego is in the worst throes of self-loathing, it can be much easier for me to offer peace to others. Lester Levenson found freedom by changing all of his feelings to love. From his description, it sounds as if he started with loving others, and then loving himself came naturally. After my recent experience, I can understand much better how that could work.

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I was just reading this quote from the text this morning that ties in with what you’re saying: “When you have accepted your mission to extend peace your will find peace, for by making it manifest you will see it.” T-12 VI. 11.1

I have felt that anxiety that is not related to any external circumstance. I was at one of Ken Wapnick’s workshops last month and he mentioned that it’s just the ego’s reaction to our commitment to forgiveness. It might actually be very good news!

Comment by Aileen




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