The Seeker of Peace

Revisiting Goals
November 6, 2008, 4:54 pm
Filed under: Suffering, World | Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

I wrote a few weeks ago about my dilemma of working with goals. Since then, I’ve come to a very different conclusion.

Today, I’m on Lesson 68 from A Course In Miracles, which says, “Love holds no grievances.” The exercises focus on grievances against people, but I realized that the same argument holds for grievances against the world.

Every goal I have is, by definition, an area where I want the world to be different. It doesn’t matter, as ACIM teaches, that I don’t recognize my own best interests. Whether I’d be better off achieving my goal or not, it’s still an area where I’m holding a grievance against the world. The very fact of my ego wanting the goal is the opposite of what Byron Katie would describe as “loving what is.”

Or, to put it another way, my goal represents a belief that achieving something would make life better. As I’ve written before, all beliefs are bad. Believing that I should have more money, better health, whatever, is a belief that forms a basis for judgment.

There are some beliefs that I’m finding it hard to let go of. Because I suffer from Crohn’s Disease, I’m often in pain. It’s difficult to let go of the idea that I’d be better off healthy and pain-free. It’s hard to stop thinking about having the goal of health, since every bout of pain reminds me. However, this must mean that I haven’t really accepted it yet.

I’ve been working on my health goal using the Sedona Method for about 16 months now, and I’ve spent some time using The Work and prayer as well. I must have made some progress, since I’m not nearly as angry about it as I used to be. It’s still definitely a grievance of mine, though.

Alas, I think that means it’s time to eat my earlier words, and start working on earnest on my goals again. And my health goal, being the one about which I’m most judgmental, should probably come first.


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