The Seeker of Peace

Voices in My Head
October 28, 2008, 9:13 am
Filed under: spirituality, Suffering | Tags: , , , ,

I wrote a few days ago that I’m getting better at recognizing the tricks my ego plays. Since then, my ego has launched a particularly aggressive strike: making my head so full of thoughts that it’s hard to focus on spiritual practice.

In the past, I’ve had success quieting my mind using a mixture of a Zen technique and the Sedona Method. The Zen technique is to catch each thought I have, and consciously repeat it. The Sedona Method part I added is to find the want underlying each thought and release it. So, I might catch myself replaying a client meeting that went well, and say, “I’m reliving that meeting, because I want approval. Could I let go of wanting approval?” Doing this consistently has always helped.

This time, it’s as if my ego is launching an all-out attack. Every time I clear my mind, the thoughts come rushing in. Trying to clear my mind is like a battle.

Just today, a member on a Sedona Method board I follow made a very relevant point (it’s message #6 here). (Maybe it’s synchronicity, or not.) He said, “If happiness comes from accepting what it, then that would include our thoughts.”

I’ve had an expectation that, as I follow the path, my mind will become quieter and quieter. An expectation is just a belief, and beliefs are never helpful.

So, my ego’s latest trick is more subtle than I had appreciated at first. I’ve locked myself into an all-out war around clearing my mind. The result? I can tell you it’s not inner peace. In fact, a friend told me yesterday that I looked unusually tense.

I hope I can stop judging my progress. Ironically, usually I would use Byron Katie’s The Work to stop judging. However, she doesn’t explain how one does a turnaround when the subject of your judgment is “my thinking!” With luck, just recognizing the judgment and its underlying belief will be enough.


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