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Filed under: Non-duality, Suffering, World | Tags: beliefs, goals, Judging
I wrote yesterday about the great progress I had made on my health goal: I no longer held the destructive belief that my life would be better if I were healthy.
Later in the day, I found myself breaking down crying while talking to my wife about my job. The problem is that much of what I’ve done around my job was not because it gave me pleasure in the moment. Rather, it was investing for the mythical great career I would have when my illness went into remission.
Put another way, I have a set of beliefs about my career. These beliefs were dependent on, or at least intertwined with, my belief about my health. When I got past my health belief, it was like sawing a leg off a table: it destabilized everything.
I’m trying to see this as a gift: I can’t think of any clearer sign I could possibly receive of what I need to work on next. Also, it helps explain why I’ve made so little progress on releasing job issues to date; I couldn’t see the issues clearly through the judgment of my health-related beliefs.
I probably have a lot more beliefs to unravel. For now, it seems best to focus on the one that’s staring me in the face. My job has been a problem (emotionally speaking) for a long time. It’s time to finally pay attention to how I’ve been judging it.
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